Can Fitness Be Sidelined?

You might think you know the answer to that question. Fitness can be sidelined, we say, because Crazy Job, because New Relationship, because Babies Be Babies*.

Ok, yeah. But no.

It's been about 5 years since I contributed to this blog, mainly because I stopped contributing to my fitness. After a series of really annoying injuries and issues (at one point I had a tweaky right knee and a painful left shoulder, which pretty much put me out of any game) I decided to hit the pause button. 

Damn that pause button. It's sneaky - it says Pause then changes to Stop, and life doesn't have a helpful transitional screen saver. Eventually I stopped feeling the need to work out, lost the giddiness of a personal best, misplaced the delicious habit of knowing my own metrics by heart. My V02, heart rate zones, target rpms and pace per mile, almost as dead as the dodo. 

Almost. Because the real answer to the question is this: No, your fitness cannot be sidelined.

Once you have a sense of your own fitness, once that is stamped onto your DNA, injected into your bloodstream, embedded under your skin or tattooed on the back of your neck, that sense doesn't leave you. Your fitness habit will slip next to you in the soft gentle light some dawn and like a delicate kiss, whisper "You're going to age really badly and that's not what I had planned..."

Then it will taunt you when you rise from a good night's sleep and don't feel rested, stand accusingly when you notice your gut popping over your jeans and laugh like an ass when you face plant on the sidewalk.

When we interpret fitness as physical beauty, sculpted abs or Perfect-Butt-in-30-Days! we miss a crucial point. Fitness is feeling incomparable. Fitness is being energized. Fitness is balance, flexibility, grace in handling life's weird twists. Fitness is us: happy.

After a frustrating and stressful job, never feeling quite rested, massaging my waist fat like it was bread dough and quite literally falling flat on my face on Howard Street to great humiliation (Hi guys across the street at Kate O'Brien's, drinking beer and watching me bleed) and expense (emergency room, ambulance, stitches), it finally dawned on me during that delicate dawn kiss that I really missed being fit.

So I'm back at it. New personal metrics, adjusted zones, different targets. My former personal best will stand, but not quite as high on the scale as the simple act of taking my fit self off pause.


*My Tiny90 blog partner, Sara, just had her second baby. She kept running until a month before her due date and will likely start running again the very minute she can. Babies be Babies, but Mom Needs a 3-Mile Run, Dammit :-)

The Wall and the Moment

In any strenuous endurance event - triathalon, marathon, holidays with the family - two significant internal conversations can arise. I call them The Wall and The Moment. The Wall is the feeling that you cannot go one step further, and The Moment is the decision that you will not give up. I find that they usually go hand-in-hand, and can have different meanings, but don't always happen in the same order.

Ten years ago I experienced a significant Moment: I tried to put on a small necklace that I adored and it wouldn't fit around my neck. It was a shock - I...had a fat NECK?! I'd noticed I was gaining weight, but I hadn't had The Moment: I was pudgy, and I didn't want to go down like that. I decided to dramatically shift gears.

So I trained for a marathon! And I gained 10 lbs! No, it wasn't muscle. (I love it when people suggest weight gain is muscle. I know our culture of denial flourishes like mold in a damp corner, but ten pounds of muscle feels great, and ten pounds of fat feels like weight gain.)

Anyway, I was profanely disgusted. After researching why I had gained after six months of training (in short, it was high-glygemic post-run foods, the myth of "I ran 10 miles, I can eat anything!" and no interval training), I joined an endurance training program, living its lessons and using its tools for the next five years. The Moment had happened, I giddily realized, and I would never go back: I was dedicated to a lifetime of fitness.

Doesn't that just scream "CHANGE COURSE! WALL APPROACHING!"?

This is what The Wall looked like: My life was wrapped around hours and hours of training and suddenly I really, really just wanted to drink beer and eat potato chips without having to calculate the pace, distance and Borg level of exertion I'd need in order to burn it off. So I pushed the "Pause" button and wandered off.

Bad idea. Three years later, I was in worse shape than I was before my fat-neck ephiphany. I wasn't just heavier and older, I was beginning to experience a kind of weakness that whispers to you like The Ghost of Feebleness to Come.

I needed another Moment, and it came from an odd place - it came from the same Wall that I'd hit years before. Musing to a friend about what had changed me from rabid workout freak to couch potato, I suddenly realized what had built The Wall. I had been committed to the classes, programs, events and teams of my training, but - careful, Oprah moment approaching - I had abandoned my commitment to myself. I'd lost a wheel and careened off the path of Doing This For Me into the mud hole of Doing This To Do It.

Seth and Amy might as well have performed a "Really?!" skit in my face: "Really. You thought personal fitness was just about fixing a fat neck. Really. You did all that work, learned all that crap about V02, BMI, RMR, heart rate zones and memorized the glycemic index because your chin had quintuplets...Really?!"

No. I trained because it felt great to climb mountains I didn't know I could climb, because I could run from my office to the Golden Gate Bridge just to watch the sun set, because it was exciting to challenge and test and care for this incredible machine that was mine and only mine.

That was what it took. Two days later I was cranking through the first week of P90X Lean, sore, crawling up stairs, weary and kinda happy. Revelatory gift of The Moment? Life is an endurance event too (duh) and walls are only there to be busted through. Really.

Dodging the Wrench

One of my favourite film training scenes of all time is when O'Houlihan says to the dodgeball wannabees: "If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball." and proceeds to throw wrenches at them. Up until that point in the film, I wasn't barely even cracking a smile. When that happened, I lost it. What can I say, throwing wrenches at people is HILARIOUS!

So then, life decided to throw some wrenches at me. Less funny. When last I posted, I was doing great! I'd just completed my first week of Project: Cyprus - I worked out 6 days of that first week, with 4 Nike Training Club cardio workouts, 3 runs and 20 minutes of Yogamazing podcasts daily.

I was feeling amazing! I was working a ton, true... In front of the computer roughly 12 hours a day, but with 2 workouts a day, and 3 healthy meals (tons of fresh fruits and veg in Cyprus), I was feeling great. And then the wrench came hurdling at me, outta nowhere!

I went for a run on that 8th day, the beginning of week two of Project: Cyprus, and noticed little flashy lights out of the corners of my eyes. Almost like there were reflective bits on the ground where I was running. When I tried to look straight at them, there was nothing there. Odd, I thought, but decided to ignore that and keep going. The run went quite well after that, and when I came home and showered, I felt amazing! Talk about runner's high.

A few hours later that evening, after dinner, it went rapidly downhill from there. Incredibly bad nausea, intense photophobia and pain that basically kept me up till 2am or so. Long story short, my first full blown migraine. I've had hints of them a few times in my life, over the past 4 years, but nothing that developed into this monster. For the remaining week and a half that I was in Cyprus, it became a game of dodging the headache and trying to make it through the last days I had to edit this film without killing myself. Working out sank far into the background.

Since then, I've returned home, had a slew of medical tests and doctors visits, recuperated a bit after almost 2.5 weeks of lingering headache, slowly gotten back to working out and then returned to Cyprus. I've been here a day now, and have already done two 20-min yoga sessions and one Nike Training Club Core workout, but haven't managed to talk myself into a run yet.

Here's where my struggle is: I feel terrible. I've basically been barely doing anything physical over the past 3 weeks in the attempt to feel "normal" again, but I know that I won't feel well until I start really working out again. I'm in Cyprus for another two weeks and really want to take advantage of the lack of other life distractions and tackle working out to balance out my work. That's the beauty of Project: Cyprus - When I'm here, I could fit in workouts, stretching, yoga twice a day if I wanted to. And I know that no matter how much I try to take it easy, not push myself too hard and relax, this work that I'm doing is incredibly taxing and the next two weeks won't be all that easy.

But I need to work out and I'm dying to get back on track with my running... I have a 10k several days after I get back to the U.S. What to do? Will a run trigger my migraine again? I feel a touch shakey at this point, but that's to be expected given the jetlag, the crazy travel schedule and the first long day at a computer. I can't tell if the pressure I feel in my head, around my eyes is just exhaustion or more. The 90º weather probably wouldn't be that great for running either.

So for today, I've decided to give myself one more day of "taking it easy" - which in this case means Yoga for headaches in the morning and another yogamazing podcast this evening - and then to go for a short run tomorrow to begin easing my way into a better training schedule.

In the interim, I'd love advice! Any of you folks out there suffer migraines? Do you have workout advice? Prevention tips? What do you for your fitness when life throws a wrench at you?

Know the Shape You're In

Different folks have different ways of gauging what shape they're in, whether it's weight, how fast they can run a mile, what pants they fit into, or how many gelatos they can scarf without having to come up for air...

As I mentioned in the Nike Training Club post, when I went to choose my workout level, I decided on "Intense." And while I've been complaining about how out of shape I am, it's all relative. I actually have a pretty good cardio base and some good strength. I mean, in my current shape, I can head out and run for over an hour fairly easily. My mile pace isn't the best it has been, but it's certainly not bad for the start of my running season. Certainly better than when I have started training in previous years. And while my current weight is hovering around the highest it's been, that isn't really a good gauge, since the weight does include muscle mass, which is heavier than fat.

(Don't get me wrong, I do want to bring that weight down... However, in previous years, at my lowest fitness point I weighed about as much and at that time, it sure wasn't muscle that was adding the pound! And on the flip side of that, the thinnest I've been was my senior year in college, when my diet was severely restricted due to a mismanaged budget. Yeah, I wouldn't recommend that... I can't say it was actually healthful.)

I feel pretty confident that choosing the Intense plan for the NTC and supplementing it with my own additional workouts is a perfectly good, challenging but not defeating, goal for myself. But how should one really gauge how they're doing and create a good workout plan for themselves? It's really important to find an accurate way to determine if you're ready for the plan you're choosing, otherwise you may injure yourself, or burn out quickly and not be able to complete the plan.

If you start working with a personal trainer, she'll make you complete some sort of evaluation in order to determine what you already can do and what you should aim for. Many workout plans have an evaluation test before you begin. In P90X, for example, there's a Fit Test that includes monitoring your heart rate, push-ups, pull-ups, and other tests. If you can't finish the test, it recommends you don't start P90X but build up to it by completing a cycle of P90 first.

In general, determining what factors to use to gauge your current fitness level should also depend on what your goals are. If all you want to do is lose weight, look better and be fit, your fitness test could probably be pretty generic. You might want to check out the President's Challenge, developed by the President's Council on Physical Fitness and Sports (part of the Department of Health and Human Services).

It has four sections:

1. An Aerobic Fitness Test (Time yourself for a 1-Mile walk or a 1.5-Mile run)
   
2. A Muscle Strength and Endurance Test (Based on Sit-ups and Push-ups)
   
3. A Flexibility Test (Sit-and-reach test)
   
4. A Body Composition Test (BMI & Waist circumference measurements)
   

These are the four areas that (at least according to the DHHS) determine your general health and fitness.

Beyond basic fitness, the data you track should depend on your goals. If you're an endurance athlete, ultimate player, tight rope walker, dancer, or if you want to complete your first 10k, you need to determine what is a good gauge of fitness for your goal, and then track that as you move through your training cycle.

For me, my short term goal is to prepare myself to run a 12k at a faster pace than I'm accustomed to. Clearly, my running pace is an important gauge. My long-term goal is to complete 8* half marathons and one full marathon this year. I think a general good health test such as the President's Challenge would suit my purpose quite well. I would add to that monitoring my heart rate, the same way the P90X heart rate monitoring test does it.

Now all I need to do is find myself a track or some way of measuring out 1.5 miles for my run test here in Cyprus...

*This number may change, depending on my travel schedule this year. All this time spent in Cyprus has already made me miss two the races I usually run. I'll have to see if I can find replacements for them.

Embarking on a New 90-day Plan!

Tamsen and I are yet again challenging ourselves and each other to a new 90-plan.
We're challenging you as well!

I think I know what mine's gonna be - here's a hint, though I'm going to leave the specifics to later.

In the interim, tell us what you look for in a workout plan: workout types, variety, length, focus, general goals, etc...

Reality hits the mat with you

Starting over is not the easiest thing.  I've moved from an apartment to a room,  I'm thinking of leaving a fairly secure job, family may require me to leave my favorite city for one that's blech in comparison. Why is it all of those seem easier than putting my mind to dropping pounds and increasing fitness?

My demons chasing the reality of rebuilding fitness:

This feels like hell > > > Hey, guess what feels like hell? Being older, stiffer and losing capability.

I used to be able to do all this stuff so easily > > > So get there already.

This is silly, all this effort. "No one dies of physical fitness"! > > > Shut up and Spin, dummy.

That chick on the machine next to me...she's working harder. She thinks I'm lame. > > > You are lame, right up to the moment you kick it into a higher gear. Cut your own path.

The reality is: It is harder, fitness wanders off unless you keep it close, and yeah, pretty much anyone could kick your ass if they wanted to.

But do it because it's harder. Keep it close because your body is a damn good friend. And cheer on any woman you see sweating it up - the other unfortunate reality is, bouncing off the Fat Wall happens more often to us than it needs to.  Be the change....be the change...

P90X in Balance

I'm toward the end of my second week of P90X Doubles. Technically, I'm only supposed to start doubles after 4 weeks, but Running Abides (three repeats of Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" did the speed trick today. What...you don't run to Steve Perry scaling the vocal heights? Pshaw.)

The first 4-week phase is exactly like regular P90X:
1. Chest and Back with Ab Ripper
2. Plyometrics
3. Shoulders and Arms with Ab Ripper
4. Yoga X
5. Legs and Back, Ab Ripper
6. Kenpo
7. Rest or X Stretch

Last time my P90 week started on Monday, but that required I skip a cardio because the 7th day was always a 5+ mile run. This time, and once again going against Dr. Horton's orders, I'm doubling ahead of time (remind me I'm a dumbass if I crash again). And now Sunday is Day 1:

Sunday: Long run; chest/back/abs
Monday: Plyometrics
Tuesday: Short run; shoulders/arms/abs
Wednesday: Yoga X
Thursday: Short run; legs/back/abs
Friday: Kenpo
Saturday: Rest AND X stretch

That's precisely what doubles is: adding 3 cardio sessions to the regular P-routine. Sunday it's magic as well as Tuesday and Thursday. But the day from hell is Monday.

See, the Plyo workout is fun, I mean REAL fun, like the kind of fun you have with a bunch of friends on a soccer field or basketball court: lots of variety, backs and forths, ups and downs. It's the only workout where I'm not checking to see how much longer I have.

Fun, yes. Easy? HELL no. And now it's scheduled for the day after a long run, and daaaymn gettin all bouncy the day after that is - well, let's just say if I could audition for a russian babushka from the knees down I'd get all the parts: my ankles look like sausages from Satriale's (had to get my Sopranos reference in before Sunday). Glucosamine is my friend.

I'd move Plyo to Saturday and make Monday a rest, but rest on a workday, where I'm ass-planted all day, is a bad start to the week. Instead I'll switch out Yoga and Plyo .

Anyway, the point is that I realized P90X in all its manifestations is not for fitness rookies. P90X is a really good program, but I doubt anyone starting out gets through it without a hitch. Balancing upper and lower body workouts, knowing what time of day works for an intense effort, knowing how to supplement and fuel, and most importantly knowing when to back off, are all things I learned through endurance training (and I don't mean run/walk marathons, although that's how this entire saga began) and am putting to constant use with P90X, when I'm smart enough to remember them.

Now if I can just get through Kenpo without looking like an octopus in a blender, I'll be just fine.

Sick to Fit

sara and i, on a rainy run last night, discussed the differences in our programs. we've both done the Self Challenge, but the P90X is new to both of us. (you know that voice they always use for monster truck rallies? use it here: P90X FITNESS! it's kind of like that.) the photos of bulging musclemen is offputting, but the program itself is well thought-out and well planned. so is the Self Challenge...

we decided that while Self is more targeted to someone in my state (just now recovering from a 6-week flu, no significant workout since october, 10lb weight gain) and P90X is great for someone super hyper motivated (sara: determination personified), Self's more flexible scheduling combines well with super motivation while P90X will have a more scheduled and disciplined approach for me, miss "my pillow is my best friend."

the P90 nutrition program is another matter. reviewing the foods and portions last night, i was aghast at the amount of food i will be eating in phase I. a sample breakfast calls for 6 egg whites scrambled with 3/4 cup mushrooms, cheese, scallions and half a roma tomato, then 8 oz of cottage cheese and a cup of strawberries (my normal pre-workout breakfast is one whole egg with half an english muffin). during the first week of phase I, i will consume 24 eggs worth of egg whites.

at which point, sara's fiance ethan promptly nicknamed the program the EGGPOUNDER 4000.

goals, other than helping chicken farmers send their kids to harvard: a solid 10-minute mile for 4 miles, a fitness foundation for relay training and a hill-shredding PR for the nike half in october. we start monday and i can't wait. (which means we're running this weekend! are you coming?)

Here we go again!

Well, folks, it's that time of year again - The Self Challenge. Let's see - the first time I did the self challenge was in 1998. Have I ever lost any weight while doing it? Hmm... It's doubtful. Have I ever really completed the entire challenge? Also doubtful. But I keep coming back every year.

What I like about it is it's accessibility. I can easily fit in the number of cardio workouts it requires per week. I have a bit of a harder time doing the strength workouts, but I'm hoping to be better at that this year. What I've never been able to do is keep a food diary.

Will that change this year? That remains to be seen. So why am I doing this? This year has already kicked off as my highest motivation level ever - I've been working about 5-6 days a week already! and the challenge hasn't even begun yet. I've already run my first race of the year, the Kaiser Permanente Half Marathon in San Francisco, and did my best time yet - a whole 15 minutes faster than my previous PR!!! (I'm still a bit giddy about that). If ever there was a good year for me to take on and complete this challenge, 2007 seems to be it.

I do like the strength workouts the challenge provides, since I don't have a gym membership and prefer to use free weights at home. And while I would love to do a Yourself! fitness challenge instead (having discovered the program when visiting my parents this past december), I don't own a playstation or xbox and don't plan to buy one any time soon.

So when Tamsen told me about her Tiny in 90 plan, I decided to join her. Well, to be honest, first I snickered at the thought that I could ever be "tiny", seeing as that I'm a broad-shouldered, wide-hipped 5'9"-er. And then, I agreed.

So here we go - let's get this fitness challenge started!