In Praise of Chest and Back

After I moved on to Phase Two this time around, I realized I was going to regret losing one segment: Chest and Back. Hey, it's all about muscle confusion, so even the good friends have to go by the wayside for now.

Not that its replacement, Shoulders, Chest and Torture - er, Triceps - is anything to sneeze at, but there's something fundamentally satisfying about C+B: the pull-ups. C+B has six sets of them, more than any other segment.

I don't know many women who can honestly pull off a pull-up, not even one full-effort pull. I'm not sure I even managed one when I was a kid hanging from my paws on the jungle gym in elementary school (all I remember is dangling like a sock monkey, wondering how to move to the next rung). At my gym, Club One, I have only been able to do pull-ups on those weight-balanced thingies (yeah. spent so much time on that machine I got to know it by name).

Back in April during my X-Files reverie, I noted two important things about pull-ups: one, that bands will get you part-way there, but not all the way; and two, the closer I was getting to doing pull-ups on a bar, the more motivated I was to conquer them. Both still true sentiments, except that I never got to the gym to take my pull-ups to the next level. When push came to shove (which was gathering myself and my gear after the Sunday long run and jumping in the car) I usually declined and just pressed Play. For the entire first phase I wondered why I made this decision every week and now that I'm a week out of it I just figured it out: I never really believed I could do a pull-up on a bar.

Hey, flailing and grunting at home is one thing; doing it in public around a bunch of fit people is another.

I'm not worried that much about it. I increased the tension tenfold on my band pull-ups, and have gained that strength. During the second phase I'm working different muscle combinations; in the third I'll have two more shots at C+B pull-ups, six times each. If there's a test for the overall success of P90X for me, that is what it will be: taking my elementary school self to Club One on July 22 (Day 1 of week 9) and seeing (or deciding) whether I can pull my chin over a metal bar, in public, for all to see. If I can't...then I'll try again on August 5, week 11.

After all, a girl can only go so long before pulling herself up and testing the stuff she's made of.

The SickFreak Thing

Got a guy a know, I've mentioned him before: Jim Karanas. Club One trainer extraordinaire and their NorCal fitness director. Savvy, knowledgeable, motiviated, enthusiastic. Resident SickFreak.

You know what I mean if you're involved with P90X at all - Tony Horton doing Plyo Push-ups. That's what I'm talking about. Don't take it like it's a bad thing; it's the "I have this body, WHAT CAN IT DO?" thing. Push it. Tweak it. Where is the edge and what does it look like? Where is the space before the space where I break? Being the Chuck Yeager of physical development.

Jim Karanas is a respected trainer partially because he sets the challenges high and trains with the team. I have watched dozens of people take on events they would have laughed at without Jim Karanas: Indoor Rowing competitions, The Davis Double, even climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro. The true SickFreak event here in California is The Death Ride. Watching someone get through that is an experience in itself.

I bring this up because Matthew, an X-er who has commented here a few times, confessed to his very own SickFreak moment inspired by his new P90X level of fitness: he decided it would be fun to go down a flight of stairs doing push-ups (Matthew it's official, per me: you're now a registered member of the SickFreak club).

This is what I love most about the X: work the program, see the physical change then feel the mental shift. Suddenly, your body is part of your playtime arsenal; you scan the web for cool triathlons, Ultimate Frisbee becomes a passtime, you choose a vacation spot for the free climbing - if it's challenging, it's fun. Instead of thinking you're not fit enough to ride a 129 mile-long course with 15,000 feet of climbing in under 14 hours (that's why they call it The Death Ride), you think, "Huh. I could do that. That sounds cool." The mental shift is profound, life-changing. As Jim told us in Performance Max, his endurance strength program, "This program will change your life because it will change the way you think." Damn straight it did. So does P90X.

If you're wondering if you have a SickFreak in you, here's what to look for, using the Death Ride comment above: the "I could do that" portion is a logical progression for the physically fit; the "...that sounds cool," however, makes you a SickFreak. Own it.

P90X - Week 1 in Review

i was not prepared.

the buzzphrase for this program is BRING IT, which at first i scoffed at then realized i perhaps had packed it then left it at home. this is typical of me, on most issues of commitment, dedication and discipline. i am fantastically skilled at sliding strong into second base then remaining there, curled up in a nap. (one of my favorite episodes of "invader zim": zim drives his easily-distracted robot gir into a movitational frenzy, whereupon gir launches into a fierce run that ends twenty steps later in a deep snooze.)

so i am no longer permitted to scoff at cheesy motivational declarations.

however, when i did manage to BRING IT, i got my ass kicked in a good way. you know that wobbly feeling you get when you've worked muscles that have been lounging by the pool for years? ahhhyeah, that.

P90 in general: It's fast, furious and funny - Tony Horton is one of those charismatic and passionate trainers, using a charming, energy-infused, take-no-prisoners style. He reminds me a lot of the fantastic Jim Karanas, a fitness coach based at Club One in San Francisco, who justifiably has a passionate following. Most of the P90 workouts are about an hour long; the Ab Ripper is 15 minutes (of pure hell). since i'll be doing these workouts for rest of march, i'll only go over a couple at a time.

Chest & Back and the Ab Ripper X
Chest and Back, like the rest of the weight-based programs, is constructed to work alternating muscle sets, something i tried to do with freeweights but wasn't really sure i was doing. It's approximately 22 sets, some repeats, of weight lifting (i used bands) and nasty-ass push-ups. my upper body is my weakest spot (tri- and biceps having lounged by that pool with mai tais for far too long). i did not manage as many reps as i thought i should in some parts, and managed far too many (meaning i wasn't using enough weight) in others. but i learned a lot about my capacity and i know i'll easily be able to mark my progress. if i can do a single, decent military push-up at any point before the 90 days is up, it will be a lifetime first.

Ab Ripper: 13 rapid exercises of 25 reps each, 325 reps total. no, i couldn't do them all, and most of them left me laughing in weak surrender. can you say OW?

Shoulders and Arms (also with Ab Ripper)
hello, my dear. i am called a tricep. we apparently have never met before, although i think you imagine we had. i do believe i will make my presence known to you for days at a time now. when you push up from your side using only me, that is our greatest moment of intimacy.

triceps, did you just call me biyatch? oh yes you did. and my shoulders called me filthy names that cannot be repeated here. suffice it to say that there were a lot more lounge chairs by that pool than i had pretended to know. still: wobbly, sore, cranky and profane though they are, these muscles are mine and i am their master...if i do what i'm told. quite the paradox.

more soon...